Rob Wooten Diss Haiku

Notice anything different other than the fact that I'm back to posting on a regular basis? Yep, your boy got a new look complete with an awesome header image courtesy Rob Wooten, but only after he dissed me on Facebook.


It was obvious he wanted social media beef, so I decided to cook it up hibachi style for him with an emasculating haiku.


Day Job

Peace to Rob Wooten
I am not good at dissing
Thanks for the header

Someone just got 5-7-5'd straight to the guts.

A Decade Ago...

Billy a.k.a Nuthead's car sploded on the way to Scribble Jam 2000. Matt refuses to keep his shirt on.

While cleaning up the apartment the other day I came across an old photo album. Inside is a compilation of moments from my early 20's. Most of the pictures came from going to Scribble Jam in Cincinnati in 2000 and 2001. Here are a couple pics that reminded me of what it was like to have virtually no worries.

Erica and I: This was obviously before I got tattooed and grew armpit hair. I don't think I've ever seen my sister smile so big.

Billy's (Nuthead) car being towed en route to Scribble Jam 2000. You can't keep Ashland down though. We made it there, but only after Mike Hale had to rent a car.

From right to left: Mike Hale, Matt Dinsmore, Brad Douglas, Andrew (I can't remember how to spell Hognet), Billy Ennis (Nuthead) and Ryan Thompson. This was when we first got to Cincinnati and Ryan's expression pretty much sums up the journey.

Alex spinning some dude he had been e-beefing with on the Anticon message board at Scribble Jam 2001 (the last one I attended). I'm pretty sure Dose signed Alex's wife beater.

Despite our protest and the lack of an engine, Matt tries to "peel the eff out" of our backyard at our farewell party on Grace St. RVA. (Hell Block). Later that night the homeless man we let sleep in our backyard dropped this nugget on us in reference to an underage kid who got wasted and was in the process of puking on his own shoes: "He's dumb as a box of rocks...without the rocks"- Wild Bill.

Snowba Ranks or How I Learned to Stop Listening to the Voice of Reason.

Friday night after realizing I wasn't going to see Avatar due to the impending blizzard, I decided to man up (which is often synonymous with dumbing up) and drove through a blizzard 60 miles south to Centreville, VA. Why? Because there is a Korean BBQ joint that I've been dieing to eat at for weeks, but more importantly I wasn't going to let the snow win this time. The last two times it has snowed I've been trapped in my apartment...not this time. I shook my fist at the heavens and was rewarded with a great weekend of braving the elements, breaking doors, eating junk food and wet socks.

Before the second act of Snowpocalypse keeps me inside my apartment to watch movies and play video games until my television taps out, allow me to recap the weekend that was.

I'm not sure how this song became my anthem over the weekend, but it just seemed to fit.



Normal driving time to Centreville from Baltimore is around 1.5 hours. The driving time when a moron decides to put his Honda Civic on 95 south during the most powerful blizzard in over 80 years is roughly around 3 hours. I've done a lot of stupid things in my life, but never anything this dangerously ignorant.


Number of vehicles I witnessed spin out: 6, including a bus right in front of me. All those hours of Mario Kart Wii paid off as I maneuvered my way around them. I should thank the Wu-Tang Clan for providing the head nodding soundtrack that pumped me up allowing me to continue this foolish journey.

Yeah this is horribly wrong, but you know how much I hate smoking.

Number of times I got stuck: 2. Once when I got back to Baltimore and once when Dave tried to carve his initials in the snow of a parking lot.

Number of vegetables/fruits eaten: I think I had a banana and I ate some grapes at the grocery store. I also made a sandwich out of waffle fries and biscuits at a Korean owned restaurant named BBQ Chicken and Beer.
Number of Sour Patch Kids eaten: Some would consider it genocide.

Movies watched

Zombieland: A good rival to Shaun of the Dead, but not as good as everyone made it out to be. Michael Cera must not have been available to play the lead role.

2012: Visually entertaining, but any movie featuring John Cusack successfully avoiding death for 3 hours is maddening.

Mean Girls: I will marry Tina Fey or die trying.


The second round of snow hasn't come crashing down yet, but I've got a Netflix account and a crippling addiction to Madden that says I'll be just fine the next few days. I did learn that if you get tired of something, you should take it upon yourself to change the situation. Will I drive through a blizzard so as to avoid being trapped inside for 3 days again? Maybe, depends on how stupid I'm feeling.